Muscle Pain, Snowboard, How To

OF THE SOLUTIONS ARE CREATED AS PART II HOW TO CREATE

Mr. Eduardo Vásquez Carrasco
Psychologist Psychotherapist

far we have seen some possible applications of the idea to rotate 180 degrees on the basic thrust of the attempted solutions have failed. The following provides other useful ideas to promote the desired change in family relationships. The idea of \u200b\u200bthese principles is more difficult or complicated a situation is, there are always exceptions, ie, times when things go well and they work. In other words, in a problematic situation there are always times and places where the problem does not exist and people are able to work well, even for a short period of time. The idea of \u200b\u200bthese suggestions is to detect the exceptions, ie the times when the problem does not occur and what do they exist and try to do more of what works.

1. Observe which way they are different times when family members get along. There are times when things are going well at home, the idea is to observe What is different in those moments to make the most of the time and ensure that those moments are given along well as long as possible, answer the following questions will help you look at the exceptions in your home: Think

• in a quiet moment that have recently experienced.


• Think carefully about what you did right before the conversation started.


• What felt more like doing that had been doing before?


• How influential this conversation for you to act differently?


• How are different times when they get along?


• Pay attention to your own conduct, taking stock of the way he thinks, feels and acts when they get along.

2. If it is difficult to identify the existing exceptions, remember what you and your family doing differently during the years spent in that home was full .

• Identify the things that had served in the past and served to restore positive feelings toward his family.


• That approach had been different their relationships when they were first married.


• What do you think you should change to make the marriage work?
  
• What things apparently worked in the past?


• As a family or couples should ask what we like to do during times of happiness and we have not done lately? They should think of the times or the forms of entertainment like going out to dinner or the theater, or attend a party, etc. and resume these activities immediately.

3. You do not have to like, just do it. Many people wait for them to be born something or expect to have the urge to smoke, so they never get to do anything. The idea is to do something, even if not like it at first. The idea is to first do it and then come forward, not backward.

• Make what works but "should not have to do it."

4. Focus on what is feasible and possible . There must be things too extraordinary, expensive or complicated, concentrate on the most feasible and practicable and will be easier to run.

• Eg. What is the difference while on vacation? According to the response the couple or family can produce some of the healing properties of the holidays without having to actually get on the plane.

5. A recurring problem does not necessarily require a new solution . Maybe in the past have had a similar problem and managed to solve it successfully, before embarking on something new, try the above solution, suddenly it works.

• Have you ever struggled in the past?
  
• How to solve the problem then?


• Have you tried the same solution?


• Why is it that have not done?
  

6. Take note of how conflicts end . What makes a conflict is over, keep in mind and do the same the next time there is a similar difficulty.

• How
  end their fighting (cold war, exchange of harsh words)?.


• determine the patterns of the end of his fights and things that promote the transition between war and peace to repeat in the future.

7. If no exceptions, identify the best among the worst. If there are times when the problem does not arise, if there are times donde el problema es menos intenso, menos doloroso o menos duradero, también tenga en cuenta que es diferente en estos momentos.

• ¿En qué circunstancia es menos intenso, menos frecuente o más corto el problema?


• ¿Qué cosas son diferentes cuando no está pensando en esta relación, cuando se siente más tranquila?


• ¿Qué tienen de diferentes los momentos cuando los recuerdos no son tan intensos?
  
  

8. Observe que tienen de diferente los momentos en que, a pesar del problema, queda algo constructivo .

• What's different the times when your anger let something positive?


• What is the percentage of those times when your anger let something constructive?


• What's different occasions that his fights will leave something constructive?
  
  

9. Notice they are different times when the problem occurs but you do not bother .

• What's different about those times?


• Are you doing any activity that requires your full attention so that neither you troubled by the annoying habit of your spouse?


• What's different times when, despite the silence of the other person, you, for some reason do not bother so much?

For the development of desirable behaviors need to know four basic steps:

• describes, in the most clear and specific as you can, what you're worried about your spouse, marriage or family.


• Identifies exceptions, times when the problem does not occur, when less frequent, shorter, less intense, less anger.


• determines what the role you play when there are exceptions.


• Repeat what you have served.

To summarize, we can say that there are two royal way to solve the problems that arise within families and in human interactions in general. The first is the path of 180 °, ie failed attempt at a solution we must identify the basic thrust of the wrong solution and act in the opposite direction, ie, turning 180 degrees. That means, in practice, if we try to work something taking control and we must then give it to assume control, if we try to work something out assuming a superior position and authoritative works and we must then assume a position of strategic inferiority and submission, if we try to eliminate a behavior in another censored and banned it and we should then turn and to encourage and cajole disappears, if we try to get your partner or whoever you want and do something through indirect and complaints and we must then ask it things clearly, specifically and directly, and so forth.

The second way to find solutions is the search for exceptions in the history of the problem. There are times, however complicated a situation is problematic, in that things work better or at least not so bad. In addition there is always the last people now that things have been better. The idea of \u200b\u200bthe search for exceptions is to identify these exceptions, identify what is different now to begin to repeat in the future so as to create new corrective emotional experience and dilute the problem. In this final section have been several examples that illustrate variations and questions you change strategies.

REFERENCES:

1. Weiner-Davis M. (2004). YOUR MARRIAGE CAN ALWAYS BE BETTER: SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE WITHOUT apart. Standard.