In the family there are "boundaries." Called "borders" to the imaginary psychological limits that determine who is part of a family and who is not. These limits determine, for example, that mom, dad and children are part of a nuclear family, but leave out the uncles, cousins, nephews, etc., Depending on individual families, these include some imaginary boundary and in other cases, exclude others. In some families it is considered the guys and grandparents as part of the primary group does not occur in other families that, ie, the boundaries vary from family to family. Other families may include and consider the family members of friends who, although they share blood ties, are included within the boundary of the family.
But there are other boundaries within the family. These boundaries are sub-groups within the same family. For example, there is a generational imaginary border which forms the sub-group parent (parents) or sub-subsidiary group (comprising the children). Whether common interests according to age or particular forms of looking at life and deal with it, the members within a family tend to form alliances among themselves according to their interests and a common benefit.
Siblings can create an imaginary psychological barrier around them and thus form an alliance to develop games and entertainment. Any parent can form an alliance with one of his brothers and married to exchange experiences and responsibilities for the upbringing of children, especially if they live nearby. Ie, alliances within the family to be formed to make a profit for its members. Partnerships are good, normal and desirable.
But there is a kind of alliances that are harmful. These partnerships are those that are harmful formed between members of different generations. For example a mother who is allied with the grandmother for raising children, leaving father's side, or a parent who is allied with one of the children to "help" in the fight she has with her spouse, or a grandson who teams up with a grandparent to pass over the authority of their parents. There are several examples that could be exposed, but the most common are listed above.
This type of partnership where two or more members are allied (usually are of different generations) to go against another family member, they end up undermining the unity and integrity of the family. A wife who has marital problems and seeks to involve one of the children in marital trouble, is pushing the child to rebel and a possible psychological disorder in the future, not to mention the further deterioration that occur in their marriage.
A husband who is allied with their parents for raising grandchildren, leaving his wife's hand, is pushing parents and children to exercise psychological violence (and even physical) on the wife excluded minus domestic authority and undermining their welfare. The same could be said of the grandson who seeks the alliance of the grandparents to circumvent parental authority. Are well known the dire consequences that this type of unhealthy alliances occur in people who participate.
But certainly people who are involved in such alliances have very good intentions, and often are not aware of the psychological make plays, but sickness and injury that occurs in the family real.
We should avoid this type of partnership that only lead to deteriorating relations lasa our loved ones. As Christians we must submit our family relationships to the lordship of Christ, asking him to heal our emotional memory and enables us to lead our families in a manner worthy of the promise we have in him. So Not only can we live the abundant life as God's children falls to us, but we give faithful witness to our faith to our family.
0 comments:
Post a Comment