h Raquel has a six-year IJO wets the bed and has trouble following orders. Simple tasks like getting dressed in the morning, brushing your teeth or do their homework are an ordeal for the mother. A tried everything, he has begged, pleaded, blackmailed to buy toys, screamed, threatened him with charges against the pastor for disobedience, etc. but do not get a consistent obedience of his son. One day Rachel was surprised to see his son picked up their notebooks and began to do their homework but if there was no order from you, even the next day dawned dry bed. This really liked Rachel, but again disappointing to see that next week the child tantrums increased.
Raquel is married to Mario, take eight years of marriage. Mario was always cold and distant, but since his son had entered the school had been isolated over, answered only in monosyllables, and the only time they spent together was when they sat watching television and when they went to bed together. The only initiative to approach that showed Mario was when he asked Rachel to have sex, but even that disliked Rachel, because it seemed a nonsense to have sexual intimacy with a man she barely noticed she was during the day.
was a great surprise for Rachel when Mario came a day of work with a small chocolate for her, he gave and gave him a kiss. Added more to his joy when Mario was invited to spend the weekend in a rural place. But once again, the joy was gone to see that next week it had become ice floe had for her husband.
What happened to Mario and his son, who was both surprised and disappointed with Rachel? They had what family therapy is called "exceptions." An exception is conduct contrary, different and unexpected to those commonly exhibited by a person, something that deviates from the norm. Moreover, these exceptions occur more often than people might think. All the time we are showcasing exceptions to our common and usual way of behaving.
Even the most disobedient child has moments of obedience, the most rebellious teenager may appear condescending at some point, the husband aloof or aggressive, you can get fresh and friendly show on occasion. The exceptions are part of life and are what make the rules are what they are.
This information can be useful. If we become experts looking for exceptions in the behavior of those around us (and ourselves), we will make these exceptions more often repeated, even managing to become our rule of conduct.
I invite to the next exercise. Choose a behavior you would like to change about yourself or someone in their immediate surroundings. Behavior obviously causing discomfort and want to change. In the next few days you might have a giant magnifying glass with the imaginary and observe the behavior you want to change, and note especially the time when the conduct occurs, but that things are different, better. Then stop and though has been different in the environment or in his own person, which has led to this exception.
The purpose is to identify the time when the exception to the problem behavior occurs and find out what was different then and that has led to this exception. Once identified this will know that we have to do the next time to trigger the exception. In other words, we must make exceptions voluntary and not just expect them to arrive.
With the information you provide imaginary giant magnifying glass, you can know what to do next time to produce the behavior he desires, in yourself or others.
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